First. (its been 31 minutes 57 seconds since that announcement)
FUCK.
again. for the umpteenth time, my effort only seem to culminate to failure.
FAILURE.
considering my florid form of written schematics, one should already know that it has to do with the Motorola Campaign.
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE CAMPAIGN.
WE COVERED EVERY SINGLE DETAIL, EVERY SINGLE MOLECULE OF MISTAKE THAT COULD HAPPEN AND YET WE DIDNT GET IN.
what should be so difficult in getting in 25% of the standard?
6 groups x 6 people = 36
36/100 = 1/3
AND WE STILL COULDNT GET IN.
you don't like the campaign, tell me straight.
don't start with all the shit about campaign logos not working, undue technology, and taglines not strong enough.
WE WORKED DAMM HARD.
and quit with all those dumb excuses that working hard and the experience is all that matters.
WE worked and slogged through nights to get something WE believe is FANTASTIC, our friends think is FANTASTIC to you big ass bigots.
FINE. reject us. It'll only show how puny your brains are.
unsophisticated and plastic.
is it so hard to find a place in this world?
on one hand, you need to know people and have connections.
on the other, you need to excel acadamically.
what happens when your caught in the middle?
is it my destiny NEVER to succeed in life?
everytime i persue one dream, everything goes against it coming true.
i... was bending so much on this ICM project to pull up my GPA...
now it seems like i'll never make it past 3...
its all I have left... really...
and the straw that broke the camel's back had to come now.
I really have no motivation left to work.
Everything i do only results in unrecognition.
I dont care about the amount of workload i have to do. really.
I won't even mind if i have a million projects...
but I want SOMETHING out of my efforts! SOMETHING which people will recognize...
SOMETHING which I can be proud of!!!
nothing.
nothing whatsoever.
so what now Andrew?
the world seems to collapse on you over and over again.
soon you will not be able to stand up again..
music, you're a failure. After 10 years in a band, nobody recognizes your skill, nobody cares about how you play, nobody bothers to encourage you.
You play in the church. Serve God. For WHAT?
He must be condamming you because you defied him by being gay.
The church could not be bothered. They have tons of guitarists, either one can take over the synth.
Your friends? ASH? What ASH. The ASH hardly even exists anymore. Encumbered by work and relationship, they don't even know each other anymore. They exist only as a group of three musicians that serve fruitlessly in a band.
In school, friends seem to be there around you all the time. Their results soar above yours and are perpetually out of reach. In everyway, everyone is better then you. Why do you even try?
You find solace in technology know-how. But you know that you don't have a future there. WHo are you to compare yourself to the ICT technowizards? What did you even come to DMC for? What future is there even?
You dont specialize in anything, you pretend you know everything. But deep down you're a failure. an absolute failure.
You're forgetful,
You're unfillial,
You're stupid,
You're ugly,
You're sinful,
You're unloved.
Go kill yourself.
Really. The world doesnt need you.
In the family, everybody is going to university, collages and graduating with honours and degrees. WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU?
are you even illegitmate? I think you are, because I have a gut feeling your IQ is less then half of your siblings or cousins.
Do you think God even likes you?
You play for him every week, you teach music, you talk about the gospel, but you're a hypocrite.
You go against everything you say.
You're gay. And didnt the bible write somewhere that homos somehow end up in hell?
Is there even a God?
IF there is, apparantly he couldnt be bothered with your insignificant existance. Much like your insignficant existance in the world.
no one likes you. face it.
no one knows you. face it.
Andrew hates you.
You hate yourself.
whatever for Andrew?
*cries*
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